Dr.Bookworm: How To cook An Ego Omelette

I am a serious man and I hate ego and eggs. My hatred towards eggs was started a long time ago when I was thirteen or fourteen years old. My friend cum competitor at that point of time was Neeraj, who won the most important contest of my teenage life. We three (Smriti,Neeraj n me) were stuck in Bermuda love triangle and Smirit was the big fan of Charles Darwin’s Survival of best theory. So in her love swaymvar she asked the most challenging question, “Which is first the hen or the egg?”Neeraj answered instantly “Egg.”And I was at my philosophical best,”I am not sure. Actually nobody can be sure.”Smirit selected Neeraj over me. I was like a sitting duck .

Several years had passed and I got an idea to punish eggs, I started eating eggs as omelette.I go to omelets corner like an sadist murderer and order for two eggs omeltte with specification “Bhiya please fry it properly”. As I am a serious man I don’t show any kind of mercy to my perpetrators (this is a sign of serious person I guess ).But the question which is hitting my soul these days is “Why I am bias with my hate, I hate eggs and hens both but I only eat eggs why not hens?“

Now coming to my hatred towards ego, As I declared 24 years ago to all my surroundings that I am a serious man then my hatred towards ego is so obvious, all the serious and intellectuals men(women)always hate ego.(another sign of seriousness ). But in last 15 days I start doubting about ego thing. My ex-girlfriend got the credit for this self-doubt session over my ego. She declared “You are the most egoist person I ever know”, she further described me my multi-dimensional character, “You can only love yourself not anyone else.”And the last nail in my doubt coffin came from my teenage crush Smriti, I asked her why she rejected me on that silly question. Her answer was shocking, she said, “Because Neeraj was sure about what he wants and his instant answer about his love towards eggs gave me surety about his commitment. Unsure doesn’t have any chance to be sure about love. That’s why I choose Neeraj. You always like to pretend that you are some kind of hot-shot. And after that incident you never thought to know about my feeling. You just walked away like you never love me. It was your ego which droved you, It always suggests you that you can’t be wrong.”

……………………………………………………………….A Big Silence…………………………………………….

So here I was, two of my love interests had rejected me and my multi-dimensional personality was now become a single-dimensional dot, a dot or a black-hole of self-doubt. Self-doubt is like love,Der se Aaye Der se jaaye(tough to come, very tough to go).I was not sure about my egoist status but I had some serious doubts and whenever lighting of doubts stroked me, my shelter point was Dr.Bookworm.

So I entered the clinic of Dr.bookworm with much of anticipation to solve my self-doubt about ego n egg. To my surprise Dr.Bookworm was wearing a Che-Guvera printed t-shirt n short.

Dr.Bookworm: Hey Amigo! Qué pasa?

I was quite sure it’s Barbara Mori’s effect on Dr.Bookworm.I heard from common friend that Dr.Bookworm hated Bollywood masala drama, but surprisingly he was in fever of Bollywood that day. So I kept my self-doubt aside for time begins and started the conversation about hate-turned-love.

Me: Hey guru ji, what’s the meaning of “Qué pasa?”

Dr.Bookworm: It means what’s up?

Me: Are you inspired by Kites???

Dr.Bookworm: yup.

Me: But I heard you hate this kind of masala Bollywood which don’t have story and all.

Dr.Bookworm: Who told you that Kites is a Bollywood movie man??? Actually I stared learning Spanish to see more of world cinema like Kites (And we both busted in laugh riot).

Me: Guru ji, It’s not joke time. I am in self-doubt. Please help me.

Dr.Bookworm: Self-doubt can be worse for a lonely-man like you. So what kind of self-doubt you have?

I told him about my hatred towards eggs and ego. And the whole story around egg thing and declaration as egoist. Now my curious eyes were watching every moment of thought process of Dr.bookworm like he was going to serve for match point against FedEx.

Dr.Bookworm(broking his silence): You don’t eat Chicken right and You also hate Dhoni as well??

Me: Yup, but what’s the relation between Chicken and Dhoni??

Dr.Bookworm : You hate Dhoni and your landlord, and If my guess is not wrong you must be annoying your landlord by some tricks like loud music. It means you are directly affecting him but same is not the case with Dhoni. So in case of hate also you choose the easiest prey. That’s way your easiest prey between hen and egg, is egg. So your first query is over I guess.

Me: Yeah I am satisfied with your philosophical-egg-omelet but my main concern is with egoist tag.

Dr.Bookworm: Let me analysis your egoist self-doubt. Both the accusers are girls and somehow your love interests as well. So I think you need some serious interrogation within yourself, because in my belief girls have better IQs and you are not gay so you have to deal with your egoist thing right now so that you can enjoy your life and wife without any ego.

So let me tell you how to make an ego-omelette:

a. Your Ego-yolk is closely bounded by the hard-shell of your closed mind; break it with help of sharp emotions. Example-If someone is looking at you just say hello or show them sign of your life. Show them that you are not rock.

b. Pour your emotions in your large surrounding-vessel. It can be your office, home, family, bar, pub anything which is social.

c. Mixing is the most important part, how well you are mixing your emotions with your surroundings and other life-masalas Chop and share your deep and sad-onion like emotions with appropriate quantity.

d. Now your ego turns into mixture of emotions and all masalas (jolly, salty, sad etc), now to turn this mixture into a perfect ego-omelette you need a burning desire to enjoy the life. So put the butter of good words and deeds on tuff situation-fry pan and start frying your ego-mixture until you start smelling the sweet smell of happiness.

Dr.Bookworm told me how he was a egoist in his early day career, He never believed in Self-help by books, but when he started cooking his ego-omelet he found some good books to make those tiny experiments and changes in his life to make it better and beautiful. I am sharing his list of books.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

One of the most amazing book about your inner-self. How to nourish your dreams and how to fight for your dreams against every possible tough situations? Whenever I need inspiration, I dive into it.

The Story of My Experiments with Truth by M.K.Gandhi

This book is a solid example how you have to accept things what you have done wrong and how can your acceptance make your ego a little dirty creature to you. So whenever you need self-inception just go through this book with open mind. Don’t ever think who has written this book. (Actually many are self-confessed Ghandiji’s haters just missed this great book.)

The Virtue Of Selfishness by Ayn Rand

In Veda’s it is said that “Wake up in Brahma Muhurat (4 a.m) and first thing think about yourself.” I take Ayn Rand philosophy about objectivism in same way; it’s good to be selfish excess of everything could be harmful. I am a old school guy but selfishness doesn’t concern me too much and this book is a good advocacy on Selfishness.

Malgudi Days/Swami and His Friends by R. K. Narayan

The purest form of innocence lies within a child’s heart. And these stories always take me to the innocent corner of my heart, All the stories talk about the basic human emotions and these stories don’t try to convince you that what is wrong or right. You are the one who have to find the best moral from all the stories.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey

Never-ever be a slave of hardship of life or institutions surrounding. Try to find the happiness no matter what is the cost. This book can have so many interpretations but for me it’s about flying with your desires.

Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

This book is just awesome read and a perfect example that chances are always random, it doesn’t matter which side of coin you are. Nothing is sure shot but have to keep flipping the coin for your better chance to enjoy. This book always remind me “sometime you can’t make it on your own by U2”

The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

This is perfect self-help book, but mind one thing it’s about highly effective people, if you don’t want to be highly effective please don’t go through it. But I liked the seven habits (7 habits are not honesty, purity etc ) mentioned and you will not be disappointed by this book either.

PS :- It is Dr.Bookworm’s list, there is no end to book list which can burn you ego or can make your ego, choice is always yours. But Dr.Bookworm always told me, “In pursuit of knowledge, everyday something is acquired and in pursuit of wisdom, everyday something is dropped.“

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